Lone lover, and the stillness

Aah!! I came out, at last,

Now who is this “I”, I don’t know

The one who is just still, lying

Or the other one, who is watching the carcass

One “me” was lying on the dune,

Other “me” sitting, starring at it,

Trying to figure out what happened

Where did they both went wrong

On the top of the sand dune;

No life around for a hundred miles.

My spirit; just talking to my body

Not pity, but sad that “a truth just went unheard”

I tried to get back in, a lot,

Wanted, as if to live some moments, alone

But that I guess, is too much for me

So, accepted the defeat, and prepared to free

Sand dunes, yes that’s the name of their stillness

Death, yes the long cherished feelings are dead

I named it my world someday, desire still to live

“He is dead !!”, babbled a few

And my soul answered…. “Nah, It’s a new Life, a new Game”

I want life; I want moments in ‘em

I saw the river, the one near my cottage
seems the same from years, and for years to come
Since when is it flowing, gusting as if from ages?
no one knows, no one asked her I guess

So I chose to ask her, lets unveil this secret too
near the night, a twilight I chose
Like life, Nature’s life too should have secrets to tell,
what needed is just a vigor to know

Why do you look the same? Why don’t you alter your way?
So stagnant, near motionless, seems life going astray
Reply that the river gave, so simple, so sacred yet sublime

“I seem calm, but the waters never the same,
I seem stagnant, But the lives in me as not
How can a life be called going astray when it’s giving life to many”
I learnt a lesson, a lesson worth telling…

Never let the spirit go waste, never let the flame faint
Its only one life we have, we live, we earn
Be patient, willing to learn a new lesson
Bad days are just bad teachers after all

Like the wind that flows without halt
the river touching the lands untouched
Like the days that fill ever moment in time
Life has to Learn on and on...

Numbness

In the creepy silence
Near a deserted ravine; from long
A bud , I saw
Was about to bloom
And I named it my “Faith”

“Roses or Blood”
Oh! Both are red
Faith – The candle that glows longest
But even then , it’s a candle
Burns out, one day

Yes, I can see the smoke coming now
above the shimmering glow
Should I ask “Can you?”
or should I say “Will you”, I donno

Just to say
“Please don’t come”
You might get hurt
I am not on those smooth roads anymore
roads of love, i've heard 'em saying

That very last scene, the endings

That evening, the sun I know, will set little early
The breaths are less, I guess few seconds are left;
I loved god, because someone was with me
Today I hate him, because he will break her heart

The strongest one, I met few years back,
The pillar which rose me up;
I know is silent in these seconds too
I know, was proud that I was high

Hah, God came,said “nine seconds left lad”
Just nine seconds to recall the last nine months
Donno, which month to recall first; Didn’t had that much time you see
So I recalled the last month first; The day I died. Ah! actually killed myself

Last came the month we met, unknowingly, silent
But the sweetest dream of me
You know what, I saved a whole second by then
My love knew it’s the last second of me…

This second, last when I’ll see her face
The second that will shatter all her beliefs
That “Love lasts forever, that it never dies ”
Time takes it all away, now who will teach her this after me ??

Its hard for me to smile now, harder for her to be quiet
I know for the first time she is filled with hatred
The god, the luck, or the hope;
She called it for long

Wall, that will be mended, forever between her world and my world
The world we shared, is not mine now;
What will she do of it, even she donno, nor do I
In one life, we cared of world, the world that neither of us belonged to

I am not sad because I am dying, everyone dies one day
I am sad because I killed her;
Out of hope, out of god, out of luck and out of love
I hate myself because I left first, I died first

Gods’ triumph over me

One god took nine months to give me breathe
Another god came and took just a couple to take my breaths away;
Who is better, Who worked better??
But both had pains; And I too cried both times

I forgot to love my present; And the present forgot me

Before, I learnt to live in present;

The present just went by, quietly;

The numbness of the future came

It had to come eventually, one day...

Now I sit back and remember my past

The past that had to be lovely, I guess,

I loved in it

Just to make sure time is not going unnoticed...

Dont give them the name of poems, sad verses, thoughts or any other thing you read here...
They r there just because they wanted to come out of me, to free themselves and the breath alone on their own,
I do still have a relation with them. All of them. How can one have no relation with his soul.
Yes, its my soul this time you are reading, that just peeped out from an old dungeon... dont worry, it has seem a lot of dark things, so values light more than u... here it goes....

These are about my mom's womb.. yups me inside...

** Dark but I don't fear, thr is no time bound, no worries
** No air to breath, I don't need it, i don't cry here, eyes not came yet
** Little wet touches I feel on new skin, little noises I hear now and then
** My little random moves, all uncouth "I donno" y..
** This is the only real "I donno" because the worldly thinking not learned yet

** यहाँ काफ़ी दबा हूँ , पर दम नही घुट रहा , नही चाहता बाहर आना ; आज़ादी मे पता है , दम घुटेगा
** काफ़ी अँधेरा भी है यहाँ , पर डर नही लगता , सो कोशिश भी नही करता बाहर आने की। किसे पता उजाला ही डरा दे । सुना है वहाँ रौशनी ज्यादा होती है , मुझे तो खुशी चाहिए , रौशनी नही ।

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