Numbness

In the creepy silence
Near a deserted ravine; from long
A bud , I saw
Was about to bloom
And I named it my “Faith”

“Roses or Blood”
Oh! Both are red
Faith – The candle that glows longest
But even then , it’s a candle
Burns out, one day

Yes, I can see the smoke coming now
above the shimmering glow
Should I ask “Can you?”
or should I say “Will you”, I donno

Just to say
“Please don’t come”
You might get hurt
I am not on those smooth roads anymore
roads of love, i've heard 'em saying

That very last scene, the endings

That evening, the sun I know, will set little early
The breaths are less, I guess few seconds are left;
I loved god, because someone was with me
Today I hate him, because he will break her heart

The strongest one, I met few years back,
The pillar which rose me up;
I know is silent in these seconds too
I know, was proud that I was high

Hah, God came,said “nine seconds left lad”
Just nine seconds to recall the last nine months
Donno, which month to recall first; Didn’t had that much time you see
So I recalled the last month first; The day I died. Ah! actually killed myself

Last came the month we met, unknowingly, silent
But the sweetest dream of me
You know what, I saved a whole second by then
My love knew it’s the last second of me…

This second, last when I’ll see her face
The second that will shatter all her beliefs
That “Love lasts forever, that it never dies ”
Time takes it all away, now who will teach her this after me ??

Its hard for me to smile now, harder for her to be quiet
I know for the first time she is filled with hatred
The god, the luck, or the hope;
She called it for long

Wall, that will be mended, forever between her world and my world
The world we shared, is not mine now;
What will she do of it, even she donno, nor do I
In one life, we cared of world, the world that neither of us belonged to

I am not sad because I am dying, everyone dies one day
I am sad because I killed her;
Out of hope, out of god, out of luck and out of love
I hate myself because I left first, I died first

Gods’ triumph over me

One god took nine months to give me breathe
Another god came and took just a couple to take my breaths away;
Who is better, Who worked better??
But both had pains; And I too cried both times

I forgot to love my present; And the present forgot me

Before, I learnt to live in present;

The present just went by, quietly;

The numbness of the future came

It had to come eventually, one day...

Now I sit back and remember my past

The past that had to be lovely, I guess,

I loved in it

Just to make sure time is not going unnoticed...

Dont give them the name of poems, sad verses, thoughts or any other thing you read here...
They r there just because they wanted to come out of me, to free themselves and the breath alone on their own,
I do still have a relation with them. All of them. How can one have no relation with his soul.
Yes, its my soul this time you are reading, that just peeped out from an old dungeon... dont worry, it has seem a lot of dark things, so values light more than u... here it goes....

These are about my mom's womb.. yups me inside...

** Dark but I don't fear, thr is no time bound, no worries
** No air to breath, I don't need it, i don't cry here, eyes not came yet
** Little wet touches I feel on new skin, little noises I hear now and then
** My little random moves, all uncouth "I donno" y..
** This is the only real "I donno" because the worldly thinking not learned yet

** यहाँ काफ़ी दबा हूँ , पर दम नही घुट रहा , नही चाहता बाहर आना ; आज़ादी मे पता है , दम घुटेगा
** काफ़ी अँधेरा भी है यहाँ , पर डर नही लगता , सो कोशिश भी नही करता बाहर आने की। किसे पता उजाला ही डरा दे । सुना है वहाँ रौशनी ज्यादा होती है , मुझे तो खुशी चाहिए , रौशनी नही ।

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Sry I haven't written it, kaash likhi hoti

Kahin to.. kahin to
Hogi wo,
Duniya jahan tu mere saath hai..

Jahan mein, jahan tu,
Aur jahan, bass tere mere jazbaat hai,
Hogi jahan subah teri,
Palko ki, kirano mein,
Lori jahan chand ki,
Sune teri baahoin mein..

(Jaane naa kahan wo duniya hai,
Jaane naa wo hai bhi ya nahi,
Jahan meri zindagi mujhse,
Itni khafa nahi..) - 2

Saasein kho gayi hai kiski aahon mein,
Mein kho gayi hu jaane kiski baahon mein,
Manzilon se raahein doodhti chali,
Kho gayi hai manzil kahin rahon mein..

Kahin to, kahin to,
Hai nasha..
Teri meri har mulaqaat mein,
Hoton se, hoton ko,
Chumti, o rehte hai hum har baat pe,
Kehti hai fiza jahan,
Teri zamin aasmaan..

Jahan hai tu, meri hassi,
Meri khushi, meri jaan…

(Jaane naa kahan wo duniya hai,
Jaane naa wo hai bhi ya nahi,
Jahan meri zindagi mujhse,
Itni khafa nahi..) - 3

Epilogue

While in the last seconds, I remember those 3 sequels, long woven by me will change. The past, the present and the future.
Those last seconds reminds that there is no future anymore. Its just the past; I thought was lost long before, will speak for me.

Silence before I walked in, silence once again after I'll walk out...
So my story ends, and a poem takes birth...